Toys in Babeland

Well, it’s finally happened. I guess I should have seen it coming but how does one fully prepare one’s self for an event like that. Especially under those circumstances. Today, I, Theodora Williams, got my first vibrator. As a present. And honestly, I was actually a bit excited. I like electronics. Back in the day I had a Commodore computer. I was the first one on my block to have a Nintendo. I even have to have my iPod, Blackberry, and electric pedometer just to do my obligatory bi-monthly 20 minutes on the Stairmaster.

You know the back story: I am a twentysomething black woman that followed the rules...right schools, right job, modern condo, tight knit clique of friends, civic organizations etc. But through that whole process of "following the rules" I forgot to read the fine print. I didn’t see the part about never having time to find or have a relationship with a man. Yep, after all that effort, I find myself in no-man land (sorry, I couldn’t resist). And I’m not just thirsty. I’m not even parched. I’m talking I am dragging yourself through the sand, sweat drippin’ in your eye, heat radiating in the distance, seeing a mirage of a cute guy in the distance type of parched. I have been out of the game so long that when I do happen to somehow find myself on a date, I subconsciously review the t.v. shows I’m missing.

Does Law and Order come on tonight? Or is it SVU? I wonder what is playing on BET’s Blackbuster. Why does BET always have to change words to remind us that we are watching “Black” Entertainment Television, like we don’t already know? Dang, did I remember to set Tivo?

So, in recognition of my continued status as one who is coitus-challenged, my friend Delano brought me to Toys in Babeland to pick out my new toy.

Photo courtesy of www.crowncombo.com