Okay black folks. Yes, we have a right to a small iota of pride that the world’s most beautiful woman is Halle Berry. Even the most ignorant element of our venerable hip hop culture has produced a touching and enduring ode to our modern day Helen of Troy.
She fine den a bitch, ass and her tits
Thick in tha hips every nig want herCall her Halle Berry, Halle Berry
Halle Berry, Halle BerryShe walkin like a model
Hands on your knees
Scrub the ground
She aint nothing but a teaseHalle Berry, Halle Berry
Halle Berry, Halle Berry
But when a crunktastical mumble of words and a leg twisting, booty dropping dance is the most recently publicized celebration of black womanhood I have a problem.
God has blessed our country with its first African-American First Lady.
We no longer have a Laura Bush type of First Lady that looks like a smiling muppet and who has questionable taste in men. Gone is the heartless bitch Barbara Bush who said “So many people in the arena here are underprivileged anyway so this is working well for them” about Hurricane Katrina victims trapped in deplorable conditions in the Houston Astrodome.
Michelle Obama is brilliant, wise and empathetic. She is a skilled communicator with an engaging presence. She is driven and hard working. She is a mother of two young daughters that she is raising to be independent and humble young women. She has a fashion sense that is fresh, bold and stylish. And she looks like she would kick Barack’s ass if he started acting a fool (as most men at some point are apt to do).
She is a sister. She knows about Luster’s Pink Lotion. She knows that eating pot liquor with corn bread mashed into it is a good fukin’ treat. She knows how to play spades (and her mama looks like she has a mean Bid Whist swagger). She makes sure that under no circumstances is anyone in her family is allowed to venture out of the White House with ashy elbows.
Michelle Obama is to the black community what Miley Cyrus is to the age 10-16, screaming, hysterical, berserk white girl community and nigras and nigroes are more interested in honoring a black woman who hasn’t eaten fried catfish, greens, Auntie’s potato salad, red velvet cake, peach cobbler or grape drank…probably ever.
Let’s get it together black people. Let’s celebrate the dignity of black womanhood. Let’s celebrate the positive achievements of our race. Let’s restore hip hop to its former glory.
Barack was no fool. He knew he caught when he married Michelle. We need to recognize that we caught when Barack was elected our president and Michelle became our First Lady.
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