Crazy Family

My family likes to front but we really aren't bougie. Well, let me rephrase: We can only trace our bougie back one generation, unlike those venerable black families back east and down south. My family is like a can of sardines and saltines away from being country and a couple of baby grilles from being ghetto.

The holiday season always highlights in dramatic manner how far my dad and mom have come. It does make you wonder about the gene pool though.

Evidence A: If You're Happy and You Know it Slap Your Friend
I know everyone claims to have a crazy uncle or something but who has a crazy child as part of their family? My little cousin Mariah has something wrong with her, we don't know what it is but let's just call it some convoluted strain of Tourette's. She can be very sweet but in an instance turn into a mean bitch. You gotta be on your toes when in her presence. One of the kids in her special class made the mistake of contradicting her story about the latest Power Puff Girls episode and got a swift slap across the face.

Not a slight tap.

I'm talking Three Stooges bitch slap.

And it was her friend.