Sex and the City Anxiety Syndrome

I watched the Sex and the City movie yesterday for the first time. I am a huge fan of the show but I hesitated watching the movie.

Why?

As a child I loved pretty princesses and noble knights and captivating castles. But now that I am an adult the thoughts that inspired ecstasy cause anxiety. Engaging in a materialistic wonderland when I feel up and happy and normal is fun, but every other time it is damaging because I am setting myself up to yearn for something that will never happen. I want to protect my heart; I'm trying to preserve healthy emotions.

The designer wedding dress. The financier boyfriend. The job at Vogue. A closet full of designer clothes, shoes, and purses. Best friends who wear designer clothes, shoes, and purses to help me move into my New York City mansion. The spunky black woman to organize my personal and professional matters (well, I already have that. Her name is Mommy.)

My depression already puts me in a place where everybody's life seems better than mine. Why expose myself to a situation where that feeling is certain? It is not inspirational. It is not motivating. It just inspires disappointment and regret.