Today I feel like shit.
This blog is titled BAP, Interrupted for a reason. For although I exhibit many of the characteristics of a Black American Princess, I also feel the good life I expected as par for the course as a BAP were high jacked when deep depression slowly began to take over my life. Sometimes I have good days and those are the days when I have funny or interesting posts. Other days I can barely get out of bed or eat or think and on those days I rarely make posts (today obviously is an exception)..
Part of the reason I started this blog was to express myself unencumbered by the worries of my day or what people may think of me, but also to share with others how depression is not reserved for the poor or for those who came from fucked up backgrounds. I was a “princess” and yet this happened to me. Despite all the right decisions I made, the successes I accumulated, and the cheery exterior image I project, I am frequently burdened with deep, almost unbearable sadness, anxiety, and a sense of worthlessness and hopelessness from a disease that is incurable. Although It is treatable, it will remain with me the rest of my life. It is an unwanted life partner.
So that is the reason I feel like shit today.
4 comments:
Thank you for continuing to blog throughout your pain, because as you said, depression is not just for the lower-class, it can hit and hurt anyone.
Keep your head up!
MissAttitdude,
Thanks for your encouragement. I continue to take it one day at a time.
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