Its Not Just the Job

Yesterday I wrote that I hate my job. Now I am beginning to suspect that its not only my job I hate, its my career.

I am the Legislative Director for a prominent State Senator. As such, I direct all of my boss's efforts in the Senate and seek to ensure his legislative priorities are achieved each session. The job is fairly high level, and there are no other black women in similar positions in the entire Capitol.

Now, there are some parts of my job I enjoy. Mainly, when I play a part in creating a piece of legislation that directly helps the poor, children, elderly or some other marginalized group. This happens about, hmmm, once every two years or so. The rest of the time its bullshit. Seriously.

My remaining time it seems is spent helping my boss shore up political capital. Its about business, capitalism, the mean green. A sage politician once said, "Money is the mother's milk of politics." An ever more sage diminutive female rapper said,"See I believe in money, power, respect. First you get the money, then you get the motherf--kin' power, and after you get the f--king power, you get the f--king n--gaz to respect you."

And that, my friends, is politics. I guess an addendum to the quote above could be "once f--king n--gaz respect you, do whateva the f--k the n--gaz who gave you money tell you to do. "

Obviously, there are some problems with that manifesto, mainly that none of that money is trickling down into my pocket.

Just kidding.

No the real problem is that the "power" is vary rarely found in the hands of black people and when it is, is usually watered down in some way. It seems power is rarely expended for the sole benefit of black or brown communities, even when it is expended by black or brown politicians.

And that is the problem. My work is futile. I got into this game to make a difference and all I am doing is helping my boss ascend the ladder of power.